Category Archives: Writing

Excerpt: FREEBORN

Posted on by

I’m heading out this morning to lovely Massachusetts. That’s great because I can use a getaway from the midwest, but the downside is I’ll be internet-free for a week. Off the grid. Unplugged from the matrix. In a sense, I am leaving the virtual world in the rearview mirror as well.

The upside: I’ll get a good amount of time to write and edit while I’m gone.

Since I’m rushing out in ten minutes and won’t be posting for awhile, I figured I’d pop up the first 250 words of Freeborn before I go. It’s still rough & all that.

***

Katia shuffled down the busy sidewalk, hunching over her cane. Mindful of the surveillance cameras, she periodically stopped to adjust the scarf securing her gray wig. Though her disguise was fake, her Infection was real.
Every face that passed wore a government-issued prevention mask. The virus did not discriminate, but attacked the elderly, children, women, and men alike. None were immune. Even though Katia had taken every precaution, the sickness had wormed its way into her blood. The parasite now squirmed in her gut.
A pair of heavily armed Doctors blocked her direct route to the building. One tiny prick from one of their portable infection detectors would unravel her disguise. They often slammed the infected to the ground—just for kicks—before hauling them off to a quarantine center. That was the Doctors’ role: enforce the laws of the Surgeon General, mess with the rabble, keep the streets clear of the infected, and toy with them along the way.
Katia held her breath and shuffled behind the Doctors. Their voices turned towards her as she passed, but they didn’t address her as she mounted the steps to the ten-story structure. Like many other corporate buildings, this one had been converted to housing in order to accommodate the soaring population caused by the Infection.
The rebel in Suite 940 was Katia’s last hope. While most referred to the woman as a witch, she called herself Ilythia. The rumors claimed she could help the infected through the horrific final stages.
***

‘See’ you all soon. Get enough Internet usage in for the both of us.

Fog

Posted on by

Image

When I was a kid, waiting for the bus in the morning, I would see the denser fog farther down our street. So I’d run down to it so I could see what it was like in that thick, cloudy part. But–every time–when I made it to the patch, it looked exactly like the place I had started. Only then, that old spot was thicker. Of course, I understand the whole thing now, but back then I was perplexed.

In elementary school, I had nappy hair, too-big adult teeth in my child mouth, and tons of freckles. My mama called me “Benjie”–a shortend version of my middle name. Of course, when the “Benji” movies came out, this wasn’t such a good thing…I switched schools a lot because we moved around so much. With a new community, house and school in 4th grade, I reinvented myself as “John”. I’ve had a few other reinventions since then. Lucas isn’t even officially my name, but it’s what I currently go by.

Update: Backspace Logline Contest

Posted on by

I won the Backspace Agent Author Seminar Logline Contest ! More specifically, I won the prong of the contest that had to do more with marketing ability than writing skill. In my opinion, a win is a win!

The authors of the three Facebook contest entries that receive the most combined “likes” and comments will each win a signed and personalized copy of literary agent Donald Maass’s two essential how-to guides, WRITING THE BREAKOUT NOVEL and THE FIRE IN FICTION!

I received a combined total of 39 likes and comments. So here is a hearty Thank You to all you flesh-and-blood–as well as virtual–friends who supported the effort. Here is the entry submitted for a ‘fictional’ novel.

Backspace|SEMINAR Logline Contest Entry #17 – INFECTION: After two hundred years of mass sterilization and cloning, a super-virus attacks the world population. No one is immune. The elderly, toddlers, women–and even men: everyone is infected with the dreaded Pregnancy. J.L.H. – Bucyrus, Ohio

For those of you that keep updated with my writing endeavors, this plotline should sound very familiar. The idea began its life as a short story entitled “Infection”. When I originally penned the concept, my goal was to keep it under 1,000 words. Mission accomplished. Then, like a lot of authors’ creations, the story took on a life of its own.

And that, my friends, is how FREEBORN the novel came into being.

I’ll have two brand-spanking new, signed books in my hands in a couple weeks. If anyone wants to take a look at them–just let me know. I’m a giver.

FREEBORN: Authonomy Ranking

Posted on by

I am crazy-swamped with a combo of writing and preparation for a huge antique show in Brimfield, MA next week. Nevertheless, I wanted to drop in a quick post regarding FREEBORN’s status on Authonomy.

It has been gaining backers at a good pace–better than Capritare managed in its early days. Being a fan of spreadsheets and graphs, this shows FREEBORN’s progress so far:

Image

The trendline shows that it will hit the number one spot on 5/5. Yeah right! Apparently Excel has no idea that its projection algorithm has nothing to do with the reality of Authonomy’s ranking melee.

Yesterday, it was rated as the 13th hottest book of the week. Not too shabby.

Check out the first 14 Chapters of Freeborn here: http://www.authonomy.com/books/43469/freeborn/ And if you’re game, sign up for a !FREE! account, and put FREEBORN on your virtual shelf. Katia, Adam, Aeiou, and I would surely appreciate it.

The cake is a lie. I remember when I spent HOURS each day reading & critting on Authonomy. None of it was selfless. The hope was that the ‘favor’ would be returned. Yes, the feedback was helpful; but the ultimate goal was to move up in the rankings and ‘make the desk’. How fucking lame. The promise of a sorry-excuse-for-a-review for all the groveling, scratching, and climbing? What a timesuck. I rarely go on there now. Just once in a while to check in on my firends in the AWB forum. Beyond that, I have Twitter as my preferred method of timesuck. 😉 

Beta Comments: FREEBORN

Posted on by

Holy FREEBORN, Batman!

Apologies for neglecting the blog posting over the last couple days. I have been churning out a chapter a day on FREEBORN. So far, I have been receiving amazing feedback from my betas. There have been a few minor issues I have corrected, but no major flaws.

Tonight, I received this as portion of some feedback from Tamara Hickman  http://tamarahickman.wordpress.com/ based on the first seven chapters. Of course, I took out the few ‘suggestions’ and just left in the positives for public consumption. 🙂

HOLY CRAP, MAN! Where is the rest? I need it!

I was sucked in, and couldn’t stop reading. There are large sections with no notes, and those are probably the places where I was completely enthralled by the story. If something jarred me out of the story, I noted it.

All of my preconceptions about this story are gone. I didn’t think that I could enjoy the story as much as I did. I love the characters, and their interactions with each other are fluid. The dialogue is sharp, and I can see distinct personalities in almost all of your characters. The introduction of the infected candystriper is genius, and I can’t wait to see how it plays out.

Your story is extremely dynamic, and there is never a moment where the friction/action/conflict stops. There is always something going on, driving the story, and I could tell that right away when it forced me to stay up until 1:04am, reading to the very last word. And then I wanted to cry when there was no more. =)

Holy Handgrenades, Bat Man! Hurry up and finish this book so I can get my claws on it!

Poem: So She Sings

Posted on by

Sarasvati: Hindu goddess of words

 

Snow shafts like ‘shroom stems
Shift slow so sleet stings
Slipshod shaped shadows
Slice straight through sun strings

Slung south since smooth skin
Sail silent sea springs
Side-saddle soldiers
Swing swords so steel stings

Sticks, stones, scabs, sutures
Sewn shut yet sap seeps
Sleep softly, soundly
Sweet song her soul sings

Sweet song her souls sings

Poem: Winner, Winner

Posted on by

Image

Avery glared down at them
From above
In disgust
A bad taste in her mouth
In the candlelight

Eyesight moist
With the damp of the rain
Juicy droplets beading up
On wings
Rolling to her breasts
Over her thighs
And down her legs

From below the awning
They never noticed her there
As they laughed & chewed
Over stringy bits
Of white meat

Ignoring the one
In the dripping branches
Continuing their cheeky chatter
Over cheap wine
And chicken cordon bleu

Review: FREEBORN

Posted on by

Image
 
By chance, I happened upon an opportunity to share the first three chapters of FREEBORN with a stranger–Alexandra Davidoff. We ‘met’ in an online forum where I was seeking feedback on the Pitch. Things progressed from there, and I emailed her a draft. Today, I received this comment in my inbox.
 
Freeborn is an intriguing piece. I like your style of writing, there’s almost an element of poetry in with the descriptive parts that makes it easy for the reader to understand the thoughts and emotions of your MC. I’ve never read anything that’s similar, and that’s a good thing. You’re very unique. I loved the concept, it wouldn’t appeal to everyone but it’s originality made it addictive. I think the chain of events in the first chapter make for an addictive opening, and the interaction between the two characters, Adam and Katia is fantastic. I felt for Katia. Her sadness, her rage, her self doubt came alive with your narration. I loved how the infected bellies were vividly described. The scenes were definitely easy to see in my mind, and the characters were memorable. The dialogue was well balanced with the narration, not overpowering it; I personally like description over dialogue, but your style holds a great balance between the two and I think that would appeal to your readers very well. The plot is adventurous, filled with adrenaline. Things move fast but aren’t confusing. It was an easy story to read, and I found myself smiling back on certain scenes as I moved forward. You have a great sci-fi adventure tale in your hands.”
 
That kind of feeback is good to hear. It echoes comments from two other beta readers that have read through the first seven chapters. I am definitely encouraged to continue writing this story. On to chapter eight!
 

Poem: Drinking Tails

Posted on by

Ripple rap-tap

         tip the scales

                      tartar sauce

                                     fishy tales

                                             fillet the truth

                                                      of minnows caught

                                                              weighing in

                                                                      on just-missed whales

 

Triple death-trap

              bait intact

                           Orion hunter

                                    seaside act

                                             ferocious beast

                                                      that swam away

                                                               recounting words

                                                                                 of twisted fact

 

Double danger

              on the brink

                         sharpened edge

                                    of thoughts you think

                                              experience

                                                       yet to happen

                                                                   shocking fake

                                                                               distilled in drink

Poem: Strings

Posted on by

His self-defined philanthropy
Marionette gift to me
   with strings
   attached

Not wanting bonds
I gave it up
   like rubber bands
   it snapped right back
   into my hands

Which reached for scissors
Nice and sharp
   to sever off
   the braided ropes

But found them made
Of hardened steel
   too thick
   to snip