By chance, I happened upon an opportunity to share the first three chapters of FREEBORN with a stranger–Alexandra Davidoff. We ‘met’ in an online forum where I was seeking feedback on the Pitch. Things progressed from there, and I emailed her a draft. Today, I received this comment in my inbox.
Freeborn is an intriguing piece. I like your style of writing, there’s almost an element of poetry in with the descriptive parts that makes it easy for the reader to understand the thoughts and emotions of your MC. I’ve never read anything that’s similar, and that’s a good thing. You’re very unique. I loved the concept, it wouldn’t appeal to everyone but it’s originality made it addictive. I think the chain of events in the first chapter make for an addictive opening, and the interaction between the two characters, Adam and Katia is fantastic. I felt for Katia. Her sadness, her rage, her self doubt came alive with your narration. I loved how the infected bellies were vividly described. The scenes were definitely easy to see in my mind, and the characters were memorable. The dialogue was well balanced with the narration, not overpowering it; I personally like description over dialogue, but your style holds a great balance between the two and I think that would appeal to your readers very well. The plot is adventurous, filled with adrenaline. Things move fast but aren’t confusing. It was an easy story to read, and I found myself smiling back on certain scenes as I moved forward. You have a great sci-fi adventure tale in your hands.”
That kind of feeback is good to hear. It echoes comments from two other beta readers that have read through the first seven chapters. I am definitely encouraged to continue writing this story. On to chapter eight!