I suppose tweets are meant to be temporal. Apparently, I am adverse to letting that happen. I’m not the only one. After a world-trending day of #badwritingtips, many writers & authors have salvaged their witty remarks from the wastelands. I am one of these determined bloggers working on the [unofficial] #BadWritingTips Immortalization Project.
Here are the others on the growing list:
@IbecameMyDad – http://ivebecomemyparents.com/2012/06/25/barmys-bountiful-bag-of-bad-advice-for-writers/
@nimbuschick – http://www.amyleighstrickland.com/2012/06/the-best-of-badwritingtips/
@BenMyers1 – http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/booksblog/2012/jun/25/twitter-bad-writing-tips-improved-writing?CMP=twt_fd
@saphirablue84 – http://thiswritersworldplotbunnies.blogspot.com/2012/06/i-tried-to-find-something-with-bad.html
@BookRiot – http://bookriot.com/2012/06/25/the-best-badwritingtips/
If you know of more, please post a link and Twitter handle in the Comments. I will be sure to add them to the list.
My #badwritingtips are immortalized below. If you are a writer, you may enjoy these. If you are a bad writer, you will most likely hate them. Fix it.
Let’s kick things off with an homage Tweet to the originators of the idea. Then, we’ll roll gently into the @gypsyroots version of sarcasm.
2) Every chance you get, use a big-ass word: e.g. Bunyanesque, fecundity, preposterousness #badwritingtips
3) Short sentences. Pop. Staccato lines good. Fragments rock. All the time. All the way through. Keep em short. It is good. #badwritingtips
4) Your first 3 chapters should be 100% backstory. No action. No dialogue. Readers love that. #badwritingtips
5) Kill your MC halfway through the novel. Once you establish a new one. Kill her, too. #badwritingtips
6) Run-on sentences and wordy paragraphs show readers you can hold long thoughts in your head so they should learn how to do it #badwritingtips
7) Similes and metaphors should be so convoluted that your reader has no idea what you were actually trying to convey. #badwritingtips
8) Put your climax in the 2nd chapter, then let the final 48 chapters slowly f a d e a w a y . . . #badwritingtips
9) Each and every amazingly lovely noun & deliciously simple verb should have a minimum of 2 modifiers. To make them sparkle. #badwritingtips
10) Every word has at least one synonym. USE ALL THE SYNONYMS. #badwritingtips
11) Writers know best. Especially new ones. Editors and agents are stupid. #badwritingtips
12) There are no original ideas. Regurgitate what has already been written. #badwritingtips
13) Your surreal poetry is highly marketable. #badwritingtips
14) Long-winded titles are best. It works in the music industry. http://www.listal.com/list/ridiculously-long-song-titles #badwritingtips
15) Subplots are like seeds. Plant 10x more than you actually need. If they spring up, good. If not, don’t dig them back up. #badwritingtips
16) All your characters should possess the same personality. This makes it easier for readers to keep up. #badwritingtips
17) Three-dimensional characters are for movies. In novels, they should be as flat as the page they’re written on. #badwritingtips
18) Uber-Niche markets are the key for non-fiction. “Holistic Skin Care for Manx Cats” will definitely hit the bestseller list. #badwritingtips
19) Chapters of 10k words or greater are highly desirable. #badwritingtips
20) Agents prefer phone calls over email submissions. Never relent. Keep trying until you get through. #badwritingtips
21) All agencies really prefer snail-mail queries. Their guidelines lie. Perfume, stickers & glitter are all highly recommended. #badwritingtips
22) Chapter breaks should end with a whimper, not a bang. #badwritingtips
23) Absolutely! Include your 1960’s band and movie references. Your YA readers won’t get it, but who cares? #badwritingtips
24) Continuity of storyline is overrated. Mix it up. Non-linear is good. Confusion is great. Keep it up. #badwritingtips
25) Semi-colons and exclamation marks change things up; use them often! #badwritingtips
26) Commas are like confetti. Toss them into the air and let them fall where they will. #badwritingtips
27) When you get stuck, abruptly end the scene. Then, fast-forward to your character waking up the next morning. #badwritingtips
28) Invented words will help get your complex points across. Include them on every page. #badwritingtips
I have no doubt that this hashtag will continue to reappear. Kudos to the creators for sparking a new meme—even if it is short-lived and only breathes within our writers-on-Twitter subculture. Hopefully, the positive peer-pressure of the #BadWritingTips Immortalization Project can make a difference.