Poem: Bumblebee Pee


See it must be a bee who leaked a pee on me
I surmised it kinda funny when the urine wasn’t runny
When I buttered up my tummy lapping up the bladder honey

It wuz becuz of the guzzle of the fuzz that made me buzz
Getting kinda tricky to lick up the icky sticky
The muck struck & stuck when my suck ran out of luck
Like bumblebee pee from a honeycomb

Then there was the sting of the black & yellow thing
With the swiftly shifting wings & the zing the stinger brings

Sick of the tickle of the fickle venom trickle
I slapped the massive gnat with a whack
With a flash-smack-attack
And smashed the sucker flat

Now I know not to go where the bumblebees blow
Thumping up & down & under like some otherworldly thunder
Hovering over one another
Unplugging honey udders
Full of bumblebee pee

I do open mics. Don’t tell anyone, but I actually created a loop of a Milla Jovovich [love her!] song from the Peopletree Sessions to run behind my reading for this. I never had the balls to perform this piece [with the music] in public. I shared it sans sample. But not with it. Not sure why I chickened out on it…

Poem: The Anti-Nothing


What lingers on the other side of nothing?
What squirms in the pit
Where blackholes dump their trash?
Spew their collections?
Bury their loot?

Slippery lip
Where the universe spills over its edge
Into somethingness
Anti-nothingness
Perfect newness

Colors hum there
Matter, mass
Fresh amoebas
Foreign, congealing
Into new music, novel mist

That random place where anti-dust & anti-heat
Implode & churn out anti-light
Anti-matter springs, unfolds
Anti-worlds & anti-words
Anti-poems, anti-songs

Anti-planets, anti-suns
Ante up in the anti-space
Where Auntie Em looks down in black & white
Swabbing the head with an anti-rag
Dipped in antique water

Anti-thoughts in the anti-mind
Swim around in the anti-time
Where far & near are upside down
Anti-pulsars spin around
In retrograde

The anti-wormholes are antebellum
Post-apocalyptic felons
Anti-war & anti-peace
Anti-teeth in anti-jaws
Speak anti-rules & anti-laws
While living anti-true & false

Pooling up & cooling down
In the land where life creates itself
To shake the known with quasar-quakes

Giving birth
On the inside of everything
Nothing included
Nothing reborn
As something

Poem: e. coli


Yield!

There was dis-ease throughout the barnyard
Everyone wanted more spinach & meat
“Yield! Yield!” cried the townsfolk.
“When pigs fly!” the farmer replied.

But he gave in anyway

So the swine flu overhead
and flooded the engine ears of corn
Which made a mad cow stomp & foam
from its hooves & mouth

Then a bird flu over the coop
and flocks of chicken pox
broke out of the henhouse
Their eggs all stolen
by an Asian weasel
with the German measles

Who ran down to the river
full of salmonella
Swimming & splashing
onto the roots of the beans

Which were closest to the patch
of potato tuberculosis
Growing in the freshly-sprayed soil
enriched with beta-quarantine

But none of this plagued
the people’s dreams
As they brandished pitchforks & spoons
demanding from their growling guts
“Yield! Yield!”
“Yield!”

Boss Me Around


::: Scowl :::

In honor of National Poetry Month, I organized years and years worth of my poetry into categories.

Now, I’m taking orders on what poems to reveal to the world during April.
The category with the most votes will determine what I post.

Don’t be scared. Go ahead and vote.

It’s like having your own Yes-Man to smack around.

Vote for Infection!


Image

Help me win some free autographed books and possible exposure to some agents?

All you have to do is “Like” or “Comment” [OR BOTH!] on entry #17 on this Facebook page. Please?

http://www.facebook.com/BackspaceAgentAuthorSeminar#!/BackspaceAgentAuthorSeminar/posts/403781676308502

$230K for My Writing!


Within the space of an hour, I received $230,000 for my writing!
[Sounds like a cheesy “Work From Home” commercial doesn’t it?]

Really, I did. Kind of.
Unfortunately, the cash isn’t legal tender.

It happened during the game of “Life” – $80,000 for writing a bestseller, then $150,000 for writing the great American novel. I’m not sure if they were the same book or not. Not wanting to be a one-hit wonder, I’m pretending each prize stemmed from separate novels.

If only Life was more like Ouija or a Magic 8 Ball. Then, I could definitely trust it to be an oracle… Then again, that would also mean I have Twins on the way, and “Tornado hits house! Pay $125,000 if not insured.”  That’ll cost me over half my royalties! (Unless I went the responsible route and paid the ten grand for the insurance. I didn’t.)

During this particular game of Life, I was the winner. I retired at Millionaire Estates and collected the additional “Life” cards. In my golden years, I won the Nobel Peace Prize – $250,000. Surely, this was the result of yet more phenomenal writing.

Looking back over my Life, I believe I know where all the success came from. Zooming along in my little white plastic car, wife at my side, twin boys in the back, I landed on a space that changed it all. “Mid-life crisis. Start new career.” Hmmm…

Now, the game is packed away. The spinner is stilled, and all the little pink and blue figures are piled in a jumpled mess at the bottom of the box. The idea and hope of successful writing is clinging to me out here in reality.

I’m still waffling over whether to include those writing accomplishments in my next batch of real-life queries. I might lead off with them in the opening paragraph. If I’ve learned nothing else, I know Life throws good and bad experiences at you when you least expect them. Why play if you’re not willing to take the risk? (Risk: That’s another game entirely…)

Really? Another Toy?


Screenshot – “Infection” Meta-Timeline

 

Once again, I find myself listening to the screams of a short piece demanding to be expanded. Apparently, my next novel is developing from a piece of flash-fiction I wrote last week. [Why won’t these ideas stay little–like I intend?]

Yesterday, I settled into my writing corner to begin sorting and congealing the hand-scribbled notes for “Infection”.  As though I needed yet another tool/distraction, the term “OneNote” rose from the recesses of my mind.

Something about authors using it to structure their notes… From a blog or something… Haven’t I seen OneNote on my laptop somewhere…?

Sure enough, I had. I recently purchased MS Office for the business, and OneNote was included in the suite. So, I stepped through the quick tutorial, and began playing with my new toy. A few hours–and twenty-five pages and subpages–later, the bulk of my notes were organized. I now have separate pages for individual character sketches, settings, major plot points, subplots, backstory, quotes, hyperlinks to research, timelines, etc.

Some of the functions are unwieldy and refuse to do what I need them to, but overall the program is great for the organization process. Now that the basic learning-curve-hurdle has been cleared, I’m ready to push onward to detail Infection to its limits before beginning the actual writing.

Already, I can see the advantages: quick stream-of-consciousness recording, sortable pages, graphics, auto-pasting of a web address when a copied item is inserted. I’m going to keep the organization via OneNote going, and see what I end up with. I’m excited to discover the pros and cons it holds as the project progresses.

There is a major fear creeping around the edges of my thoughts though: what if some other small idea starts stalking me before this one comes to fruition? Thankfully, I can just start up another OneNote Notebook for that.

Wait! That won’t help at all, will it? I’ll just have to keep a big, pointy stick by the laptop, then.

Crew [Short Story]


Earlier this week, I wrote a short story entitled “Crew”. There is an abandoned factory here in town that I wandered through a few times. I used as it as inspiration for the setting. Out of the blue, at the end of the week, a stranger called me.

He purchased the building. Folks told him my partner and I might be interested in some of the contents for our business. Random. We visited today, and did indeed take away some cool, old foundry molds. The owner also let me snap some photos of the place to illustrate “Crew”.

The photos can be found by clicking here. The story is below. Enjoy.

*******

CREW

Scape clinched the cuff of his sleeve, and crashed his elbow through the glass. He grinned back at us from within his hoodie, and dropped his backpack through the window. The cans clanked as they hit. With a quick dive, Scape slipped into the opening.

Rox balanced on the handrail next, kicking the jagged glass with her boot. She hoisted herself up, and squatted in the windowsill. I glanced down the street. Deserted.  I pointed the beam of my flashlight on her jeans, willing it to push her through.

“Hurry the fuck up, Rox.”

She wiggled her ass, flipped me the bird, then disappeared into the dark.

I mounted the window, took one last look around, then dropped onto the broken glass inside. It crunched beneath our feet as we searched the room with our lights. Old plaster walls left to chip and crack. A mosaic swan set in the floor—a symbol of the foundry that once used the building.

“Hope there aren’t any fucking hobos in here,” Rox said.

Scape sniffed the air. “No way. Doesn’t smell like piss or smoke. Just old metal and grease.”

“Nobody’s tagged the entry,” I said. “I bet this place is virgin.”

Rox unzipped her backpack, whipped out a can, and shook it. “Not anymore.” She tagged her sinewy MINX on the plaster.

“Quit dicking,” Scape said. “We’ve got work to do.”

We followed him up the stairs, taking two at a time, using the rails at the landings to whip around and keep climbing. We raced up the twisted flights, until we ran out of steps. Rox kicked open the door and we passed through.

The top floor was one massive room. An expanse of floor-to-ceiling windows covered the far wall. I imagined the space filled with clangs and sweat and steel. All that remained was a few busted worktables, scattered debris, and stagnant puddles from the leaky roof.

We all saw its beauty at the same time: a blank wall stretching out from the doorway to the far corner.

“It’s perfect,” Scape said.

Rummaging through the junk, I found three hunks of wood to chock our flashlights on the scarred wood floor. Angling them just right, their beams converged on the plaster. Dry. Grungy white. Perfect.

Rox yanked a worktable. “Help me drag it over,” she ordered me. “This bitch is heavy.”

“Better than standing on each other’s backs,” Scape said as he slipped his bandana over his nose. He scrolled a finger over his iPod and some jazzy horns blared out. He was ready.

“Where we heading?” I asked him.

“I’m feeling nature tonight,” he answered.

The rattling marbles added their own layer to the music streaming into the space. Scape saturated the plaster with large sweeping arcs. He created hints of curved hills, then feathered the edges into blocks of green. Trees sprouted with a few masterful strokes.

Rox & I added our rattling cans to the symphony. I walked to an end wall, scaling the rubble to tag my COUNT in the triangle of light by the windows. FIN was for the murals only. We kept the powerful aliases separate—just in case.

The sweet smell of aerosol and pigment filtered through my bandana. I added the pair of signature fangs dropping beneath the letters.

Scape called out, “You two are up. Which playlist, Rox?”

“Screamo Love!” she answered, thrusting her hips.

I glared at her as I stepped into the light. “Really Rox? With this sweeping landscape?”

“I got this. He’s gonna be tall and sleek. Tight pants. Silver eyes. Dark.”

“When are your characters not dark? That damn Circus Demon scared the shit out me.”

“I painted him in chains didn’t I? Just worry about walling the edges in, Border Boy. We don’t need another screw up.”

“My damn black ran out. It was too thin in one tiny spot!”

Rox ignored me, already lost in the whine of some androgynous boy wailing like a girl. She laid down the base of a figure. I sorted through my cans and set aside all the black. Plenty of it. First I sprayed the solid line of the border. Precise. Purposeful. Rox and I shared the table. When we were ready to slide it over, Scape was there to help move it. As always, we worked seamlessly, like cogs in a machine.

I embellished the border with swirls. Scape quietly joined in, adding shading to the landscape. Clouds of rainbow aerosol floated in the flashlight beams. My tongue tingled with the sharp taste. We worked over one another’s sections, dancing, adding details and highlights.

“Shit. I need a tight nozzle, Rox said. “I lost mine some fucking where.”

“There’s one in my pocket,” I said with a smile.

She sauntered to me and grabbed my hair. She faked heavy, ecstatic breaths as she fished the nozzle from my jeans. “Ohhhh, ohhhhh, unnnhhhh. Oh yeah! Oh yeaaaahhh!”

Scape peeked from beneath his hood. “You two are sick.”

Rox skipped to him. “You know you like it, baby.” She grabbed Scape’s ass, kissed him on the cheek, then finished her taunting with a playful slap.

Back to work, we navigated around one another, fluidly filling in details high and low. Scape stepped back, then dove in for some tweaking. Rox hopped off the table and silenced the iPod. We moved behind the flashlights, checking out our work.

“Damn, Scape. Look at the rhythm of those strokes,” I said.

“Our best one yet,” he answered.

“We get better each time,” Rox said. “Hold on. Shit! There’s too much shadow on his face. I can’t even see his lips.”

I whistled the Jeopardy theme song to annoy her. She flipped me off, and Scape backed her up with a punch on my arm.

“You definitely want dark, sleek boy to have a luscious pair of lips,” I teased. I expected a Fuck you, Fin, but Rox was on task.

With a few expert strokes, she added highlights to his face: nose, cheekbone, strong chin, two quick bursts for lips. Rox stepped back. Her guy looked lean and proud, but not arrogant. Like aristocracy.

“What’s his name?” Scape asked.

Rox whispered, “Craven.”

We approached the mural, and tagged our ‘real’ names: SCAPE, ROX, FIN.  Scape encase them in a triangle with three straight lines. Only one more step.

“Should we do it?” I asked.

Simultaneously, we placed our palms inside the triangle. Color rippled out from center of the mural, bounced off the border, and echoed back. Wind gusted from the wall, driving the aerosol fumes across the room to hover by the windows.

Craven shivered. He blinked, then rolled his neck, sending the sound of cracking vertebrae through the old factory. He looked down at us, his creators.

His face contorted. Slowly, his feet left the painted grass as he rose into the spraypaint sky.

“Wait…Wait!” he screamed. Craven floated to the top of the mural, bracing his hands against the upper border.

Rox scrambled to the cans. “Oh, fuck!”

“We forgot to paint a shadow to anchor the dude—” Scape said.

“—again,” I finished.

Rox smiled at us. “Don’t just stand there, numbnuts. Help me pull him down.”

*******

Finally! An Agent Request for a "Partial"


 



I’ve got to post this now–in case the story ends soon.


After months of querying, with both the query letter and pitch developing along the way, I received my first glimmer of hope in my inbox today.


It’s a small thing really. Nothing spectacular. But after dozens of form rejections, a personal email from an agent means a lot.

“Thanks for your query. Mind sending along the first five pages of your manuscript in the body of an e-mail? I’d be happy to take a look and let you know whether the style is the best fit for me.”



I realize that there isn’t an ounce of promise in that email. It is simply a request for a few pages.





The Gmork inside me is crouching, fur bristling, growling, “Ehhhh! It means Nothing. She’ll just read it and reject it like all the others. The Nothing is coming.”


But the Falkor inside me is laughing. “You never know. It only takes one…”


I’m hoping Falcor wins.