Poem: Braille


My eyes, half-seeing, in the darkened room
      close to extinguish the foggy light
peeping in through the window

I am blind.

But my hands-
my hands see you lying there
with 20/20
and read over your body like braille

The hair freshly cut
on the back of your head
Synonymous softness
on your chest
your arms
your legs

My fingers read your warmth as “Welcome”
a comfortable couch to snuggle into
a tall glass of tea to be sipped
Your skin speaks to me in volumes:
Book 1: “Youthfulness”
Book 2: “Pleasure”
Book 3: “Playfulness”

Your lips, like romance novels,
tender under my touch,
part just enough
to let me in on your secrets

Goosebumps (like little sisters) tell on you-
give away your hidden meaning
in tangible moans
as I count them-
against your will

The braille of your body – vast volumes
too thick & numerous-
a library too expansive
for my hands to translate unassisted.

So I call for backup
from other parts
& index:
Every page
Every line
Every word-
      by touch alone

This poem is a true story. I drafted the bulk of it in my head while tracing the skin of a lover one morning. The light was streaming in the window. My lover’s chest was rising and falling in the easy breath of sleep. I simply enjoyed the play of light and shadow, reading the lines with my fingers, interpretin the sensation of touch into words, writing poetry in my head.

Poem: Bumblebee Pee


See it must be a bee who leaked a pee on me
I surmised it kinda funny when the urine wasn’t runny
When I buttered up my tummy lapping up the bladder honey

It wuz becuz of the guzzle of the fuzz that made me buzz
Getting kinda tricky to lick up the icky sticky
The muck struck & stuck when my suck ran out of luck
Like bumblebee pee from a honeycomb

Then there was the sting of the black & yellow thing
With the swiftly shifting wings & the zing the stinger brings

Sick of the tickle of the fickle venom trickle
I slapped the massive gnat with a whack
With a flash-smack-attack
And smashed the sucker flat

Now I know not to go where the bumblebees blow
Thumping up & down & under like some otherworldly thunder
Hovering over one another
Unplugging honey udders
Full of bumblebee pee

I do open mics. Don’t tell anyone, but I actually created a loop of a Milla Jovovich [love her!] song from the Peopletree Sessions to run behind my reading for this. I never had the balls to perform this piece [with the music] in public. I shared it sans sample. But not with it. Not sure why I chickened out on it…

A Celebration of Rejection


As I ran through my morning routine, I thought through three possible ideas for today’s blog. I decided on a topic, but then checked my email to see if there might be fodder waiting there. There was–my first rejection lettter. Booooo! I mean–Yay!  

 
 
Dear Mr. Hargis:
 
Thank you very much for your query, which we have read with interest. Unfortunately, the project does not seem right for this agency, and we are sorry that we cannot offer to serve as your literary agent.
 
We also apologize for the form rejection.The sheer number of queries we receive prevents personalization in order for us to respond in a timely fashion.
 
We wish you all the best in finding more suitable representation, encourage you to query widely, and thank you for giving us the opportunity to consider your work.
 
Sincerely,
The Stringer Literary Agency LLC
 
 
In 2000, I sent out appoximately 75 article and poetry queries which resulted in 5 paying acceptances. That’s a success ratio of 1:15. I have queried nine agents at this point. In my little self-coded system of stars & highlights denoting the “fit” of each agency for my novel, this one only received one star–uncircled. So, I am not disappointed. In fact, I am celebrating. 
 
Rejection letters only come if the groundwork of submission has been completed. Rejection letters are the proof that there is actually someone at the other end. The submission process is complicated–each agent or publisher requires a different set of information. The queries have to be catered to the specific recipient and it can take up to six months to receive a response. So, it’s nice to know that all that effort isn’t just evaporating into cyberspace.
 
There are still eight queries out there, and one of them is with an agent who received five stars–circled, underlined and highlighted. My goal is to get six more queries out this week so I can hit that magic number fifteen. It’s been good to me in the past. Perhaps, some morning a few weeks from now, I’ll be chewing on ideas while making coffee and decide to check my email first. Maybe there will be another cut-and-paste email for me to drop into a post–an Acceptance letter.
 
When that happens, I’m hoping it will be from the five-star agent. But, if I can celebrate a rejection from a one-star, I am sure I will be able to find it within me to celebrate any acceptance–even if the star isn’t circled. 
 
What a crock. Writers always say stuff like: “Well at least I heard something back.” OR “It was a rejction, but there was a personalized line from the agent in it.” Like that really makes the sting any more comfortable. Rejection sucks–whatever its shape or form. It makes me feel inferior, less than, and sometimes angry as hell. I probably should insert some silver lining here. You know, be happy and shit. I refuse. Not in the Invisible Ink. What I honestly, plainly want to say is: Rejection Sucks. Hard.

The Migraine That Started It All


It began with a migraine 17 years ago. There was a late-night storm ripping at the roof above me while a pounding thumped the inside of my skull. I flipped on the light and set about exorcising the excruciating pain. My first poem spilled out through the cracks between the lightning in my head. I have since ‘misplaced’ that first piece of writing but a few lines still remain wet in my memory.

Falling, flying in a circle
   made of hammers
   made of stones

The journaling started from there. Then, at some point, I decided that my writing was worthy of publishing. So, I set about researching how to make that happen. Apparently, a few publishers agreed with me and I was actually paid [Paid!] for some of the words that spilled from my head. I published a few magazine articles, some poetry & even a couple illustrations.

Then life changed. Other storms tore at me and washed away the urgency to get my writing out there. The private journaling weathered the storm and continues to this day. But, another front has been forming for a few months now. A novel is coming. The clouds are full to bursting and who am I to deny their rain? So, I am begging the words–and the urge to publish them–to explode with abandon.

Falling, flying in a circle
   made of hammers
   made of stones