Phreak Show Idiolect Glossary


The pulleys and gears in the gadget known as “SPELL-CHECK” kinked up and ground to a halt when encountering a number of colloquialisms and lexiconical creations in the novel Phreak Show. In many cases, the words are clearly part of the modern vernacular, yet they were summarily rejected. As a result, The Council of Indispensable Words has compiled this Phreak Show Idiolect Glossary

aethern. ever-present ionized vapor; materializes as a purple-green borealis similar to the Northern Lights; can be harnessed as a sustainable energy source; a select few, known as MAESTROS, can wield its power
aintv. [slang] is not; spoken by the uneducated, or by the educated for dramatic effect
amazeballsadj. [slang] amazing or phenomenal
b.o.n. [abbreviation] body odor
batshitadj. [origin unknown] ridiculously; unbelievably; often paired with “crazy”
bazillionairen. person possessing a ridiculous amount of wealth
blimpingv. swelling; quickly filling with air or matter
blippingn. this stupid, jacked up, empathy thing which totally effs up Tera’s life
blippon. mispronunciation of BLIPPING
boyband hairadj. longish-shortish, perfectly styled tresses
braniacn. extremely intelligent person; prone to using perspicacious words
butthurtadj. [condescending phrase] whiny or overly defensive response to a petty issue
carniesn. [derogatory] carnival performers and those of their ilk; stereotyped as uneducated, unscrupulous characters with more criminal convictions than teeth
clankyadj. emitting a sharp, rattling, mechanical sound
coochn. [slang] a lady’s nether regions; term used by cads and trollops
coozen. [derogatory] combination of “cootie” and “ooze”; a mean person, usually female
creepoadj. creepy; weird
crossgenderadj. expressing gender outside the binary terms of male and female
dollbabyn. [origin: older southern women] baby doll; may refer to child’s toy or a cute boy or girl resembling such a toy
dookiedv. doo-dooed
eekingv. squeezing out a painfully small amount at a time
effed, effin, effed-upadj. or v. [diet cusswords] non-vulgar forms of the base word “f%@#”
fatgirln. self-effacing term for an overweight girl
fatsuitn. a greasy covering of globs of fat and cellulite
fishbellyn. or adj. pale and tender skin; similar to the soft belly of a fish
flippinadj. [diet cussword] see: EFFIN
framingn. the correct term for BLIPPING; power wielded by a MAESTRO in which he or she manipulates the AETHER to both experience and physically manifest another person’s inner faults and fears
freakmeister – n. master of freaks
ghettomobilen. see: HOOPTY
gigv. [southern U.S. origin] give someone the finger; flip the bird; one finger salute
glowsticksn. plastic cylinders that contain two liquids that temporarily create light using chemiluminescence
hooptyn. automobile in an unattractive, depressing state of repair; identified by continual breakdowns, rust, a horrible half-done paintjob, patches of duct tape, etc.
hottien. a sexually attractive person
inkroomn. private room in a tattoo parlor designated for tattooing
janky, janked-upadj. messed up; out of whack; twisted
jerkholen. [diet cussword] a jerk; non-vulgar version of the word “a$$hole”
kajillionadj. a hell of a lot; an almost infinite number
lurvev. [slang] decidedly feminine way of expressing the word “love”
manipulatoryadj. controlling by artful, unfair, or insidious means
microcephalicn. or adj. neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by a tiny head; microcephalics were sometimes sold to freak shows in the 19th and early 20th centuries, where they were known by the name “pinheads”
munchern. one who places his or her mouth upon an object in a munching fashion
muumuuedadj. dressed in a loose-fitting garment of floral-print polyester; rarely found outside the female, octogenarian population
nerdfightern. person who is proud to be nerdy and intelligent, and fights to increase awesome and decrease Worldsuck
nerdtimen. celebration of cerebrality
noonern. mid-day teaser performance of The Last American Phreak Show
normalsn. see: RUBES
nutjobn. [term of endearment] goofy, funny, silly, crazy person; [derogatory] psychopath
ooeyadj. viscid; sticky
orgasmicallyadv. happening in a pleasurable or rapturous manner
pecsn. pectoralis muscles; firm, sexy chest muscles on a male
pervn. short for “pervert”; person who drools over or treats another in an unwelcome, sexual manner
pervyadj. being a total PERV
phreakn. member of a troupe of teen misfits enslaved in a sideshow by their warped self-images; anyone who has left the realm of the RUBES by embracing his or her inner phreakiness
phreakazoidn. see: PHREAK
phreakiest, phreakified, phreakiness, phreakish, phreako, phreaky  – adj. of, resembling, or possessing the characteristics of a phreak
pippedv. spoke in a high-pitched, annoyingly squeaky voice
pissyadj. having the color, consistency, or smell of urine; a bad attitude
poofyadj. overly puffy
puppetmastern. controlling person gifted with the power of persuasion through either mundane or magical means
razoredv. sliced; cut open in a quick, excruciating manner
rubesn. outsiders; townies; those oblivious to the underlying mysteries and ways of the Phreak Show
sapiosexualn. a form of sexual orientation characterized by a strong attraction to intelligence in others, often regardless of gender and/or conventional attractiveness
scoochedv. slid or scooted
scroggedadj. messed up; jacked up; see: EFFED
sexyfiedadj. looking hot, desirable, and perhaps a little trampy
shammien. amazingly absorbent cotton cloth
showbilln. flyer announcing an act or performance. adj. font or script used to advertise plays, carnivals, circuses, etc
showmastern. leader of a performing troupe in a carnival, circus, or sideshow; MAESTRO
showmomn. mother who lives vicariously through her child by forcing him or her to extremes in public performance
shrimpyadj. tiny; miniscule
Skinbookn. low-brow name for the Versipilles
slenderfiedadj. skinny or thin
slickstern. person who uses slippery words and circular reasoning to convince others; see: used car salesman
snarkedv. spoke with sarcasm, bile, or bite
spazzedv. jerked, either physically or mentally,  in a spastic manner
squeedv. [past-tense] produced a high-pitched, exuberant squeal of excitement
steampunkn. subculture which explores the concept of retro-futurism; addresses what the past would look and be like if the future had happened sooner; often embraces a Victorian-era aesthetic meshed with modern technology
studlyadj. manly; possessing the characteristics of a virile male
swaggedadj. draped with cloth
tattooeen. the brave soul receiving permanent ink rammed into his or her dermis
taxidermiedadj. post-living creature whose pelt has been tanned, stuffed, and mounted
tendriledadj. resembling, or actually having, tendrils or tentacles
toadien. a bad guy’s lame sidekick; see: “A Christmas Story”
uncataloguedadj. absent from official records; see: THIS ENTIRE GLOSSARY
unibrown. one continuous eyebrow instead of two distinct ones; easily remedied by shaving or waxing
Versipillesn. an ancient book bound in human skin; contains arcane knowledge about alchemy, cosmology, science, botany, magic, and other esoteric topics
wangn. a gentleman’s nether regions; the fifth limb; term used by strumpets and scoundrels
weirdosn. misfits, phreaks, oddballs; individuals who are misunderstood and/or judged for their uniqueness
whackjobn. see: NUTJOB
wootingv. hootin’ and hollerin’
yadan. nothing of importance; usually spoken in repetition; similar to “blah”

 Wow, this took a shit-ton of work to create. But, in the end, I hope you find it useful as an interesting translation tool.

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