The pulleys and gears in the gadget known as “SPELL-CHECK” kinked up and ground to a halt when encountering a number of colloquialisms and lexiconical creations in the novel Phreak Show. In many cases, the words are clearly part of the modern vernacular, yet they were summarily rejected. As a result, The Council of Indispensable Words has compiled this Phreak Show Idiolect Glossary
| aether – n. ever-present ionized vapor; materializes as a purple-green borealis similar to the Northern Lights; can be harnessed as a sustainable energy source; a select few, known as MAESTROS, can wield its power |
| aint – v. [slang] is not; spoken by the uneducated, or by the educated for dramatic effect |
| amazeballs – adj. [slang] amazing or phenomenal |
| b.o. – n. [abbreviation] body odor |
| batshit – adj. [origin unknown] ridiculously; unbelievably; often paired with “crazy” |
| bazillionaire – n. person possessing a ridiculous amount of wealth |
| blimping – v. swelling; quickly filling with air or matter |
| blipping – n. this stupid, jacked up, empathy thing which totally effs up Tera’s life |
| blippo – n. mispronunciation of BLIPPING |
| boyband hair – adj. longish-shortish, perfectly styled tresses |
| braniac – n. extremely intelligent person; prone to using perspicacious words |
| butthurt – adj. [condescending phrase] whiny or overly defensive response to a petty issue |
| carnies – n. [derogatory] carnival performers and those of their ilk; stereotyped as uneducated, unscrupulous characters with more criminal convictions than teeth |
| clanky – adj. emitting a sharp, rattling, mechanical sound |
| cooch – n. [slang] a lady’s nether regions; term used by cads and trollops |
| cooze – n. [derogatory] combination of “cootie” and “ooze”; a mean person, usually female |
| creepo – adj. creepy; weird |
| crossgender – adj. expressing gender outside the binary terms of male and female |
| dollbaby – n. [origin: older southern women] baby doll; may refer to child’s toy or a cute boy or girl resembling such a toy |
| dookied – v. doo-dooed |
| eeking – v. squeezing out a painfully small amount at a time |
| effed, effin, effed-up – adj. or v. [diet cusswords] non-vulgar forms of the base word “f%@#” |
| fatgirl – n. self-effacing term for an overweight girl |
| fatsuit – n. a greasy covering of globs of fat and cellulite |
| fishbelly – n. or adj. pale and tender skin; similar to the soft belly of a fish |
| flippin – adj. [diet cussword] see: EFFIN |
| framing – n. the correct term for BLIPPING; power wielded by a MAESTRO in which he or she manipulates the AETHER to both experience and physically manifest another person’s inner faults and fears |
| freakmeister – n. master of freaks |
| ghettomobile – n. see: HOOPTY |
| gig – v. [southern U.S. origin] give someone the finger; flip the bird; one finger salute |
| glowsticks – n. plastic cylinders that contain two liquids that temporarily create light using chemiluminescence |
| hoopty – n. automobile in an unattractive, depressing state of repair; identified by continual breakdowns, rust, a horrible half-done paintjob, patches of duct tape, etc. |
| hottie – n. a sexually attractive person |
| inkroom – n. private room in a tattoo parlor designated for tattooing |
| janky, janked-up – adj. messed up; out of whack; twisted |
| jerkhole – n. [diet cussword] a jerk; non-vulgar version of the word “a$$hole” |
| kajillion – adj. a hell of a lot; an almost infinite number |
| lurve – v. [slang] decidedly feminine way of expressing the word “love” |
| manipulatory – adj. controlling by artful, unfair, or insidious means |
| microcephalic – n. or adj. neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by a tiny head; microcephalics were sometimes sold to freak shows in the 19th and early 20th centuries, where they were known by the name “pinheads” |
| muncher – n. one who places his or her mouth upon an object in a munching fashion |
| muumuued – adj. dressed in a loose-fitting garment of floral-print polyester; rarely found outside the female, octogenarian population |
| nerdfighter – n. person who is proud to be nerdy and intelligent, and fights to increase awesome and decrease Worldsuck |
| nerdtime – n. celebration of cerebrality |
| nooner – n. mid-day teaser performance of The Last American Phreak Show |
| normals – n. see: RUBES |
| nutjob – n. [term of endearment] goofy, funny, silly, crazy person; [derogatory] psychopath |
| ooey – adj. viscid; sticky |
| orgasmically – adv. happening in a pleasurable or rapturous manner |
| pecs – n. pectoralis muscles; firm, sexy chest muscles on a male |
| perv – n. short for “pervert”; person who drools over or treats another in an unwelcome, sexual manner |
| pervy – adj. being a total PERV |
| phreak – n. member of a troupe of teen misfits enslaved in a sideshow by their warped self-images; anyone who has left the realm of the RUBES by embracing his or her inner phreakiness |
| phreakazoid – n. see: PHREAK |
| phreakiest, phreakified, phreakiness, phreakish, phreako, phreaky – adj. of, resembling, or possessing the characteristics of a phreak |
| pipped – v. spoke in a high-pitched, annoyingly squeaky voice |
| pissy – adj. having the color, consistency, or smell of urine; a bad attitude |
| poofy – adj. overly puffy |
| puppetmaster – n. controlling person gifted with the power of persuasion through either mundane or magical means |
| razored – v. sliced; cut open in a quick, excruciating manner |
| rubes – n. outsiders; townies; those oblivious to the underlying mysteries and ways of the Phreak Show |
| sapiosexual – n. a form of sexual orientation characterized by a strong attraction to intelligence in others, often regardless of gender and/or conventional attractiveness |
| scooched – v. slid or scooted |
| scrogged – adj. messed up; jacked up; see: EFFED |
| sexyfied – adj. looking hot, desirable, and perhaps a little trampy |
| shammie – n. amazingly absorbent cotton cloth |
| showbill – n. flyer announcing an act or performance. adj. font or script used to advertise plays, carnivals, circuses, etc |
| showmaster – n. leader of a performing troupe in a carnival, circus, or sideshow; MAESTRO |
| showmom – n. mother who lives vicariously through her child by forcing him or her to extremes in public performance |
| shrimpy – adj. tiny; miniscule |
| Skinbook – n. low-brow name for the Versipilles |
| slenderfied – adj. skinny or thin |
| slickster – n. person who uses slippery words and circular reasoning to convince others; see: used car salesman |
| snarked – v. spoke with sarcasm, bile, or bite |
| spazzed – v. jerked, either physically or mentally, in a spastic manner |
| squeed – v. [past-tense] produced a high-pitched, exuberant squeal of excitement |
| steampunk – n. subculture which explores the concept of retro-futurism; addresses what the past would look and be like if the future had happened sooner; often embraces a Victorian-era aesthetic meshed with modern technology |
| studly – adj. manly; possessing the characteristics of a virile male |
| swagged – adj. draped with cloth |
| tattooee – n. the brave soul receiving permanent ink rammed into his or her dermis |
| taxidermied – adj. post-living creature whose pelt has been tanned, stuffed, and mounted |
| tendriled – adj. resembling, or actually having, tendrils or tentacles |
| toadie – n. a bad guy’s lame sidekick; see: “A Christmas Story” |
| uncatalogued – adj. absent from official records; see: THIS ENTIRE GLOSSARY |
| unibrow – n. one continuous eyebrow instead of two distinct ones; easily remedied by shaving or waxing |
| Versipilles – n. an ancient book bound in human skin; contains arcane knowledge about alchemy, cosmology, science, botany, magic, and other esoteric topics |
| wang – n. a gentleman’s nether regions; the fifth limb; term used by strumpets and scoundrels |
| weirdos – n. misfits, phreaks, oddballs; individuals who are misunderstood and/or judged for their uniqueness |
| whackjob – n. see: NUTJOB |
| wooting – v. hootin’ and hollerin’ |
| yada – n. nothing of importance; usually spoken in repetition; similar to “blah” |
Wow, this took a shit-ton of work to create. But, in the end, I hope you find it useful as an interesting translation tool.
Is it weird that I knew what most of these meant even before I read the manuscript?
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Not at all. It just means your a phreak-at-heart.
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I’m printing this out for my wall.
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Excellent. And what shall you plan to do with it? 😉
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Stare at it. Osmotically absorb the awesome.
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