Category Archives: Writing

Two Cents

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There is a great line from a Jay Brannan song that says:I should have million of dollars, ’cause every asshole’s put two cents in.

I have been receiving a lot of useful feedback from the authors & readers at Authonomy. Most of the comments have been helpful in pointing out issues that my myopic view of the story won’t allow me to see. These suggestions have helped me further polish the narrative to a lustrous sheen.

As with opinions on any topic, many can be disregarded outright. This has become most apparent when receiveing reviews from readers who don’t normally delve into the fantasy genre. One issue that has been noted, is that the storia begins in media res. The stage is set, the characters are already in place, and the reader is allowed to sit around a campfire-of-sorts and join a conversation which has already begun. The backstory unfolds for the reader as the characters discover the truths for themselves.

I feel strongly about dropping the reader into the midst of the opening scene where they begin to learn about the world from the characters’ viewpoint. Having just been “reborn” in a sense, the characters are beginning their journey, and we are taken along for the ride. I found an interview of literary agent Laurie McLean by Stacey O’Neale here . Laurie addresses this issue in one of her responses.

Q: With fiction partials, what makes you stop reading and start skimming-or stop reading altogether?
 
A: The usual suspects. Grammatical errors, misspellings, too much exposition, too little character revelation, using too many words to say something, passive verbs, too little or too much world building, slow pacing, backstory, etc. In this modern age, and especially with fantasy, you need to pack as much power into your opening scene as possible. Your world should be front and center, but not so much that you slow the pacing of the action to a crawl. Banish backstory in this scene. Instead feather it throughout the manuscript-exactly what is needed exactly when the reader needs to know it, not before. And make your characters compelling. If the reader doesn’t like the character enough to want to take the journey of a story with them, you’ve lost me.

I may very well be using this excerpt as a proof-text to prove that my instinct is correct. That’s okay. I can bend a little on providing a bit more explanation up front if needed. CAPRITARE: The Cycles Begin doesn’t currently have a “Prologue”, so I can always add a lead-in if need be. But, I am going to hold out and wait for that recommendation to come from an agent, not a non-fantasy-reading-reviewer.

I’m with Jay. I ought to be a millionaire.

Between the Lines

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Writing takes time. Unfortunately, so does the rest of life; breathing, hygeine, social life, making a living…

My current means of paying the bills comes from self-employment. My partner and I own Lucah Designs. We sell antiques (as-is and refurbished), industrial furniture (cleaned and converted to domestic use), and newly created pieces (artistic, one-of-a-kind items upcycled from antique components). Over the last two weeks, my motivation has been more towards the writing endeavors than the business side of things.

Today, we pack up for Atlanta. We set up our wares there at the Scott Antique Market once a month in hopes that folks will fall in love with our pieces. It’s hit and miss, but that the way it is.

The good thing about doing shows is that there is plenty of down-time while we man the booth. Plus, I get twenty hours in the van on the trip down and back. While this time isn’t all that conducive for writing fresh words, it is excellent for editing those already put down on paper. So, I have less guilt of writing between the lines, focusing on my craft, within the fits and starts of the business of making money.

My partner, Micah, is amazingly understanding about this bent of mine towards writing. He actually grants me more time to do it than I deserve. In the backs of both of our minds is the hope that–one day–it will all  be worth it. All it takes is that one book to take off. Then, it can run in the background, adding to the income stream. Even a tiny tributary will help relieve the pressure of creating, creating, creating while never knowing if the masses are going to appreciate what we have made.

Then again, I guess writing has that same unknown factor. Authors can hack away at a manuscript and create that magnum opus only to have it collect dust in the backroom of the workshop. We have had plenty of furniture pieces do that. We think the English Lowboy from the 1720’s is amazing, wonderful, an easy sell. Yet, we drag it to show after show, put it online, display it in our storefront, and hold on to it far longer than we anticipated.

Sounds a lot like sitting on a polished manuscript to me.

Ah, but that’s no reason to stop creating: furniture or novels. Eventually, if the piece is strong enough, someone will fall in love with. Hundreds of buyers pass by our booth for every one that stops, inspects, questions, then pulls out the cold hard cash.

I’ll keep writing. I’ll keep putting my work out there to be judged and assessed. What’s the point of creating a piece if I don’t do all I can to get it to the right audience? Even if we have to store the finished pieces for a while, eventually, they all sell.

A New Addiction

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Authonomy is addictive.

I am a goal-oriented chap. Authonomy is a like crack to an overachiever like me. The site dangles the huge, yummy carrot of making it to the Editor’s Desk in front of hopeful authors. And we claw after it.

When the month ends, the top five books on the site make it to the ED, and recieve a review from Harper Collins. That’s it. While a professional review is a good thing, biting into Authonomy’s Holy Grail is not a promise of publication. I read in one of the forums that only four of the past ED books have been picked up by Harper Collins.

Still, we strive.

That striving takes on many forms; forum participation, shameless email pleading, promises of read-swaps, the targeting of both newbies and high-ranking members, etc. My personal efforts have been mainly offering thorough, honest critiques of authors’ first two or three chapters. I enjoy the analysis, and it keeps my editorial eye keen.

At this point, after signing up thirteen days ago, I have read more than ninety chapters. Unless the writing is completely indecipherable–or utterly boring–I provide specific feedback on both the contents and mechanics. About 75% of the authors have responded with their own comments on my novel.

So, as far as addictions go, Authonomy doesn’t have a lot of noticeable side-effects. It does, however, have some positive ones:

  • The more I read others’ writing, the better I am becoming at weighing the merit of my own
  • While the many of the resulting comments offer platitudes, a few contain solid feedback i have already implemented to hone my manuscript
  • The process definitely tightens up the self-marketing skills–which will be helpful once my novel is actually in print & e-reader format (YES! It will happen.)
  • There are some amazing, quirky authors on Authonomy, and it’s great to connect with like minds

[Disclaimer: These are probably just the ramblings of an addict trying to justify his addiction…]

Comments, feedback, a six-star rating, and placing my book on your Authonomy shelf are all welcome.

[Damnnit! There I go again.]

We’re Moving On Up…

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Authonomy has a ranking system where other authors can back an unpublished book. The higher the novel climbs in the ranking, the more eyes look at it. If it makes it to–and stays in–the Top 5 for a while, it magically gets transported to an Editor’s Desk at Harper Collins.

Beginning as a brand-spanking-newbie two days ago, CAPRITARE: The Cycles Begin started at position 5,334. So far, it has inched up 233 notches, and is currently ranked 5,101.

Here’s to celebrating small achievements, and working our way to the top!

::: raises glass :::

Novel Feedback

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Finally, I am getting feedback on my novel from virtual strangers. This means, they have no face-to-face connection to me, no reason to flatter or hold back their true assessment. These comments are from members of the CreateSpace & Authonomy communities.

“Lucas, great imagination!I feel transported to an intriguing mythical world, yet the kids are very much teens,as in real life. The end of the preview keeps you in suspense for what’s next.
The rating is actually 4 and a half stars (they don’t have 1/2 star here).
You have a well-written, enjoyable story that issure to delight many – young adults and adults.”
“I liked the concept thateach one has to solve a different puzzle; my personal favorite character wasNeelid. Found him funny yet cool. He supposedly solves his puzzle quickly, yeteveryone makes fun of him because of it. And he could not even get his shirtoff, which is even funnier. I was interested to find out more about it. I reallylike the concept. “
“Interesting story, even though thistype of fantasy is not my specialty… The imagery is wonderful. It begins in the storystraight away, which is great for first person POV (my personal favorite). Ireally like what you have so far and, even though it’s not my normal read, Idefinitely plan on coming back for more. Your creatures, in a sense, areequally intriguing! On my shelf to support some fine writing :)”

“The most original story I’ve read here. Very, very different. Part Lit Fic, part fantasy,part dreamworld. Imaginative, creative, greatdescriptions, and well written. I have no idea ifthis story will be popular here, but it is quality, and it is unique. Welldone. Recommended.”
It’s great to get this kind of feedback. Even though it is not from “professional” editors/agents, it is good to hear what the Everyday Reader thinks of my work.

ABNA Entry

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My entry is in! With a mad scramble over the last month to hone my story to a presentable version, my first novel has been entered into the 2012 ABNA. There was a lot of excitement on the message boards as we awaited the starting gun on 1/23/12 at 12:01am EST.
With only a small issue with my “captcha” not showing up, the process went pretty smoothly. By 12:30am, I received my confirmation email.
Thank you for participating in the 2012 Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award Contest!

We’ve received your entry, “Capritare: The Cycles Begin.”

Your unique ABNA ID is: XHF4QUTB

On February 24, Amazon will announce the round two entries at http://www.amazon.com/abna.

Good luck in the contest!

The Gender Genie

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I should be revising my novel. The ABNA contest opens in less than a week. I did tweak my Pitch a bit, and will be editing as soon as this entry is posted.

Discussion threads can be so distracting! Just now, a post led me to Gender Genie which uses an algorithm to analyze a text and guesses the sex of the author. I pasted the first “Cycle” of my novel. Here are the results:

Words: 18431

(NOTE: The genie works best on texts of more than 500 words.)

Female Score: 21692
Male Score: 21345
The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: female!

Apparently, by a narrow margin, I write like a girl…

Novel Word Cloud

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Wordle is an online tool that provides a visual representation of the frequency of words in a given text. I performed the old cut-and-paste of my novel to see what its cloud would look like. Wordle perfomred its tabulating and formatting functions to spit out this visual version of Capritare.

It is interesting to see my novel in this format. I have already begun the process of checking on some of these words to see why they loom so large in the cloud. Alot of “just” iterations have been exorcised! 

Excerpt from CAPRITARE [Cycle 1]

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Alright. I feel like this passage is polished enough to post. Enjoy!

*******
Narrowed eyes told me that others were already planning,strategizing. A six-pointer glared at me. I stared back.
Armidy lifted a large, white stone above his head. Hisarms bulged with the weight of it. The tips of his fifteen-point antlers stretchedhigher than his uplifted hands. I scanned for someone smaller than me–someone I could possibly force to touch the tree.

Armidy slammed down the stone. “Begin!”

Frenzy. There was the instant strain of muscle, bone,and roars. Scattering. My mind whirled. Run! My legs jerked. Catch. Don’t get caught. A tree. Hide. I slid, hit the ground. Lay low.
I could see struggles all around me: large groups wrestling, vying for one another, lone beasts skulking. Locked horns. Bucking hooves. Ferocious eyes. The rotting wetness of the mulch beneath me assaulted my nose. A pair of Yramidians thumped past me. An Esque, captive to their strength, struggled to break free. Her loud screeching echoed off the leaves.
Movement to my left—Neelid. Gasping. He hid with his back against a tree. I peeked out, then crawled to him.

“Cap. This is crazy! I got punched!” He lifted his shirt to reveal a red mark in the shape of a fist burning on his ribs.

“What should we do?” I asked. “Team up and try to get someone?”

“Who? The little ones have already been nabbed.” Neelid hunched lower. “You and I are probably the smallest ones left.”

“So what? We just lay low and wa—?”

I was rising. Jerked. Pressure on my chest. Heat.Tightening. Treetops whizzed overhead. Kick! Kick! I arched my back. Squirmed. Kicked—hard.

Bamm! The hardness of ground. I slowed my racing eyes. The six-pointer was already back up on his knees. His red eyes glowing. His face contorted into every shape of rage.
I leapt up and stumbled to Neelid. “We’ve got to fight him together!”
We stood side-by-side with our backs against a tree.Six lowered his head, cut his eyes up at us, and lunged. Two steps, three. Too quick to dodge.

Pain exploded in my side.

Six pulled back, sliding his antlers out of side. Hot blood ran. He took aim again. I closed my eyes to brace against the pain.

Clash. Clacking of five points on six. Antlers intertwined. A snap like the breaking of a twig. Neelid threw punches with a force beyond his small frame. Searing in my gut. Six scooped Neelid up, slammed him to the ground. Neelid kicked out his legs, knocking Six’s out from under him.

Darkness crept in at the edge of my thoughts.

Booming from afar, “We have our winners! Stop thegame.”

What game? My sight dimmed as Neelid untangledhimself from the six-pointer. White heat shaded with redness blazed at my side.A red vividness streamed out of me. Darkness eclipsed my world with black. Oblivion.

*******

The Denial of a Sacrifice to the Slumber Gods

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It’s 3:30 in the morning and I really should be in bed. But this writing thing, you see, is an addiction. I can be minding my own business and an idea will pop in my head. I’ll be filling up my gastank when a spark of a sentence I need to rewrite will ignite. (And I’m guessing I don’t have to tell you what a bad mix fueling and sparks can be…)

So, what keeps me up tonight? Nothing in particular. It started with a noise. Some random nighttime sound in the loft stirred me from my slumber, and in that realm between sleeping and waking, I started editing in my head. I can’t recall the first few thoughts, but eventually I ended up with a revision for one of the lines in my Pitch. I got up. Here I am.

I groggily sludged to the laptop to record the amazing change I needed to make before it had a chance to slip away. Otherwise, it would have drifted off into the Land of Forgetfulness. One night’s sleep can do that to you–wipe out the fantastic, phenomenal, groundbreaking thoughts that formed right before you nodded off. I am sure I have lost millions of top-tier ideas that way.

I got up two hours ago. So why am I still here? You know the routine. I started on that first project, then needed to tweak something else. Then, it happened. I clicked on that little blue “e” and the portal to that great devourer-of-time-better-spent-doing-something-else, the internet, sucked me in. I had to check my email, pay a visit to the Amazon Pitch Thread and read the recent gnawings over at Query Shark. I had to. I couldn’t help myself.

Fortunately, I am almost as addicted to sleep as I am to writing. So, with the final distraction of a late night blog posting completed, I’m off to sacrifice a few more amazing ideas to the slumber gods.