Phreak Show Idiolect Glossary

The pulleys and gears in the gadget known as “SPELL-CHECK” kinked up and ground to a halt when encountering a number of colloquialisms and lexiconical creations in the novel Phreak Show. In many cases, the words are clearly part of the modern vernacular, yet they were summarily rejected. As a result, The Council of Indispensable Words has compiled this Phreak Show Idiolect Glossary

aether – n. ever-present ionized vapor; materializes as a purple-green borealis similar to the Northern Lights; can be harnessed as a sustainable energy source; a select few, known as MAESTROS, can wield its power

aint – v. [slang] is not; spoken by the uneducated, or by the educated for dramatic effect

amazeballs – adj. [slang] amazing or phenomenal

b.o. – n. [abbreviation] body odor

batshit – adj. [origin unknown] ridiculously; unbelievably; often paired with “crazy”

bazillionaire – n. person possessing a ridiculous amount of wealth

blimping – v. swelling; quickly filling with air or matter

blipping – n. this stupid, jacked up, empathy thing which totally effs up Tera’s life

blippo – n. mispronunciation of BLIPPING

boyband hair – adj. longish-shortish, perfectly styled tresses

braniac – n. extremely intelligent person; prone to using perspicacious words

butthurt – adj. [condescending phrase] whiny or overly defensive response to a petty issue

carnies – n. [derogatory] carnival performers and those of their ilk; stereotyped as uneducated, unscrupulous characters with more criminal convictions than teeth

clanky – adj. emitting a sharp, rattling, mechanical sound

cooch – n. [slang] a lady’s nether regions; term used by cads and trollops

cooze – n. [derogatory] combination of “cootie” and “ooze”; a mean person, usually female

creepo – adj. creepy; weird

crossgender – adj. expressing gender outside the binary terms of male and female

dollbaby – n. [origin: older southern women] baby doll; may refer to child’s toy or a cute boy or girl resembling such a toy

dookied – v. doo-dooed

eeking – v. squeezing out a painfully small amount at a time

effed, effin, effed-up – adj. or v. [diet cusswords] non-vulgar forms of the base word “f%@#”

fatgirl – n. self-effacing term for an overweight girl

fatsuit – n. a greasy covering of globs of fat and cellulite

fishbelly – n. or adj. pale and tender skin; similar to the soft belly of a fish

flippin – adj. [diet cussword] see: EFFIN

framing – n. the correct term for BLIPPING; power wielded by a MAESTRO in which he or she manipulates the AETHER to both experience and physically manifest another person’s inner faults and fears

freakmeister – n. master of freaks

ghettomobile – n. see: HOOPTY

gig – v. [southern U.S. origin] give someone the finger; flip the bird; one finger salute

glowsticks – n. plastic cylinders that contain two liquids that temporarily create light using chemiluminescence

hoopty – n. automobile in an unattractive, depressing state of repair; identified by continual breakdowns, rust, a horrible half-done paintjob, patches of duct tape, etc.

hottie – n. a sexually attractive person

inkroom – n. private room in a tattoo parlor designated for tattooing

janky, janked-up – adj. messed up; out of whack; twisted

jerkhole – n. [diet cussword] a jerk; non-vulgar version of the word “a$$hole”

kajillion – adj. a hell of a lot; an almost infinite number

lurve – v. [slang] decidedly feminine way of expressing the word “love”

manipulatory – adj. controlling by artful, unfair, or insidious means

microcephalic – n. or adj. neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by a tiny head; microcephalics were sometimes sold to freak shows in the 19th and early 20th centuries, where they were known by the name “pinheads”

muncher – n. one who places his or her mouth upon an object in a munching fashion

muumuued – adj. dressed in a loose-fitting garment of floral-print polyester; rarely found outside the female, octogenarian population

nerdfighter – n. person who is proud to be nerdy and intelligent, and fights to increase awesome and decrease Worldsuck

nerdtime – n. celebration of cerebrality

nooner – n. mid-day teaser performance of The Last American Phreak Show

normals – n. see: RUBES

nutjob – n. [term of endearment] goofy, funny, silly, crazy person; [derogatory] psychopath

ooey – adj. viscid; sticky

orgasmically – adv. happening in a pleasurable or rapturous manner

pecs – n. pectoralis muscles; firm, sexy chest muscles on a male

perv – n. short for “pervert”; person who drools over or treats another in an unwelcome, sexual manner

pervy – adj. being a total PERV

phreak – n. member of a troupe of teen misfits enslaved in a sideshow by their warped self-images; anyone who has left the realm of the RUBES by embracing his or her inner phreakiness

phreakazoid – n. see: PHREAK

phreakiest, phreakified, phreakiness, phreakish, phreako, phreaky – adj. of, resembling, or possessing the characteristics of a phreak

pipped – v. spoke in a high-pitched, annoyingly squeaky voice

pissy – adj. having the color, consistency, or smell of urine; a bad attitude

poofy – adj. overly puffy

puppetmaster – n. controlling person gifted with the power of persuasion through either mundane or magical means

razored – v. sliced; cut open in a quick, excruciating manner

rubes – n. outsiders; townies; those oblivious to the underlying mysteries and ways of the Phreak Show

sapiosexual – n. a form of sexual orientation characterized by a strong attraction to intelligence in others, often regardless of gender and/or conventional attractiveness

scooched – v. slid or scooted

scrogged – adj. messed up; jacked up; see: EFFED

sexyfied – adj. looking hot, desirable, and perhaps a little trampy

shammie – n. amazingly absorbent cotton cloth

showbill – n. flyer announcing an act or performance. adj. font or script used to advertise plays, carnivals, circuses, etc

showmaster – n. leader of a performing troupe in a carnival, circus, or sideshow; MAESTRO

showmom – n. mother who lives vicariously through her child by forcing him or her to extremes in public performance

shrimpy – adj. tiny; miniscule

Skinbook – n. low-brow name for the Versipilles

slenderfied – adj. skinny or thin

slickster – n. person who uses slippery words and circular reasoning to convince others; see: used car salesman

snarked – v. spoke with sarcasm, bile, or bite

spazzed – v. jerked, either physically or mentally, in a spastic manner

squeed – v. [past-tense] produced a high-pitched, exuberant squeal of excitement

steampunk – n. subculture which explores the concept of retro-futurism; addresses what the past would look and be like if the future had happened sooner; often embraces a Victorian-era aesthetic meshed with modern technology

studly – adj. manly; possessing the characteristics of a virile male

swagged – adj. draped with cloth

tattooee – n. the brave soul receiving permanent ink rammed into his or her dermis

taxidermied – adj. post-living creature whose pelt has been tanned, stuffed, and mounted

tendriled – adj. resembling, or actually having, tendrils or tentacles

toadie – n. a bad guy’s lame sidekick; see: “A Christmas Story”

uncatalogued – adj. absent from official records; see: THIS ENTIRE GLOSSARY

unibrow – n. one continuous eyebrow instead of two distinct ones; easily remedied by shaving or waxing

Versipilles – n. an ancient book bound in human skin; contains arcane knowledge about alchemy, cosmology, science, botany, magic, and other esoteric topics

wang – n. a gentleman’s nether regions; the fifth limb; term used by strumpets and scoundrels

weirdos – n. misfits, phreaks, oddballs; individuals who are misunderstood and/or judged for their uniqueness

whackjob – n. see: NUTJOB

wooting – v. hootin’ and hollerin’

yada – n. nothing of importance; usually spoken in repetition; similar to “blah”

Wow, this took a shit-ton of work to create. But, in the end, I hope you find it useful as an interesting translation tool.